How could I say "no" to this stunt memoir that was so temptingly close to the section I was actually looking for? I Was (Blind) Dating, But Now I See actually does a lot more than catalogue eight bad dates, because, after all, what's to say about one disastrous hour? Stephanie actually invites us into about 10 years of her life, as she marries off all her friends and relations and starts annoying God about her own single status. In our society, it's hard to be unattached, and in the Church, it might be even harder (even though, as All the Single Ladies, the very popular new study by Rebecca Traister tells us, it's increasingly common). But, really, Stephanie's story could be for anyone who's waiting... and isn't that most of us?
My first clue that I didn't have to be a 30-something single girl to relate to this book came on page 24, when Rische referenced Simeon, who was "eagerly waiting for the Messiah." He had been waiting all his long life... and his people had been waiting for hundreds of years before him... but he was still eagerly waiting for something he knew God wanted to do. Oh, I have a list of things I'm waiting for!
In my opinion, there are two kinds of waiting. There's the kind Simeon was doing. He was sure he would see the Messiah before he died, because he had received a specific promise to that effect, so his waiting was an exercise in faith and patience. Abraham could have waited patiently for Isaac to be born. Daniel could wait and pray for the Babylonian captivity to be ended. But the other kind of waiting, the kind Rische is talking about, also has an element of suspense in it. It's like being an older kid waiting for Christmas-- you know what you asked for, you know what you want, but you also know, from previous experience, that it might not turn out the way you are hoping, so you careen between wild expectation and trying to protect yourself from disappointment.
That's where Rische brings in the parable of the persistent widow --the obnoxious prayer of the believer who just won't take a hint. But at one point she asks, "How long do you have to be annoying before you realize you're just banging your head against concrete?"
What I have found is that annoying prayers may or may not "get results." But when I am having that conversation-- or some days, that argument, or that one-sided harangue-- with God, when I am engaged with the Most High, eventually it's not about getting what I want any more. It's about starting to see the situation in a new way that might be closer to God's way. I have prayed and I have fasted and I have been as daring as the woman-- the woman!-- who couldn't stop bleeding and who pushed her way through the crowd just to touch Jesus, but I haven't always gotten what I was asking for. But I have always, always, gotten what I needed-- peace with the outcome, and strength for the journey.
So I Was Blind Dating turned out not to be so much of a stunt memoir and more of just a story about someone else's life that was different from mine, only not, actually. I guess by now Rische has discovered that marriage doesn't end your waiting. We will always be annoying God about something. We will always be ping-ponging between hope and expectation management. But knowing others go through the same things makes it a little easier.
